Sexy seclusion or maddening isolation?

Sexy seclusion or maddening isolation?

Whether you're social distancing alone or with others, relationship stress is REAL during these Covid19 times. Not just with our partners, roommates, kids, and co-workers, but also with OURSELVES. And when our relationship with SELF is strained, it can permeate all of our other relationships.

I’m a huge believer that most relationships (especially romantic ones) don’t have enough time and space apart within them to thrive at their peak potential. I also believe that most people don’t have enough QUALITY alone time.

With most of the world being quarantined right now, many of us are experiencing WAY TOO CLOSE quarters with the people we live with, or maybe WAY TOO MUCH alone time, especially compared to what we’re used to.

And sooo the shadows come out to play.

And we have far fewer places to hide than we used to.

Suddenly, all of our own (or our partner’s, roommates’, etc.) flaws protrude in HD detail, nipping and nagging us in the stark and sudden stillness and silence we’ve long avoided. Stress and fear of the unknown makes them even louder and more impossible to ignore.

This is a time of facing our demons. And yes, THEIR demons are OUR demons. Because there really isn’t an “out there.” It’s all a projection of what’s “in here,” reflecting back to us our darkest shadows that need to be integrated into loving wholeness and acceptance. And the blame game simply won’t get us anywhere while we’re trapped in our little boxes with nothing to do but stew in our own shit.

These are times of digging deep and bringing into the light what’s been repressed, unconscious, and festering in the shadows—as individuals, couples, households, communities, societies, a species and a planet. As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.”

This is the time to dig up and own our triggers, finding the buried treasures that lie beneath them. Each emotion carries a potent message within it, and it’s up to us to RECEIVE that message, without drowning in the emotion and letting it consume us.

By allowing ourselves to FEEL the pain, we can move through it, and reach what’s on the other side: its polar opposite. We cannot have one without the other, and feeling one side of the spectrum is an excellent pathway to get to the side we WANT to be on.

For example, when we know the pain of loss and death, it opens up a deeper ability to feel GRATITUDE and PRESENCE for LIFE. When we work through a conflict with a loved one, it opens up greater capacity for TRUE INTIMACY.

The only way around it is THROUGH it.

Even if you’re not experiencing conflict within your relationships, what better time to cultivate more depth?

We’ve all got a lot of time on our hands right now—we might as well make it QUALITY time, whether that’s alone or with our loved ones. And the higher we keep our spirits, the better our immunity and vitality. ♥