How to Take Responsibility of Your Life

In many cases, sovereignty is only possible through radical responsibility. When we blame someone else or self-victimize, we give our power away to something outside of ourselves and dismiss the part we play.

By actively taking responsibility for how we are contributing to a situation, we can create real change, rather than expecting someone else to, or letting someone else’s actions rob us of our ability to choose.

Let’s not confuse self-responsibility with blame. If someone violated you, you are not to blame for that; you did not do something to “deserve” it.

Response-ability is our ability to *respond* to the situation with accountability, in a constructive way that fosters growth and change.

I’m not suggesting bypassing or repressing emotions or not allowing ourselves to feel the pain of an experience; these can actually be potent catalysts for action if we transmute them into fuel.

Even though we’re not to blame for “bad” things happening to us (and I say “bad” in quotes because every experience is what we make of it, and incredible things can spawn from “bad” situations), we can ask ourselves:

How can I prevent this from happening again, and how did I contribute to the situation that allowed for this to happen?

Where were my blindspots, how did my action or inaction contribute to the playing out of events?

It’s easy to point a finger at “them,” but it takes true courage and honesty to get curious about our own piece and not let the past rob us of the present.

Some areas to ponder about the role we play:

How are you contributing to the conflict in your relationships?

How are your daily life choices contributing to the toxicity of our planet?

How do you vote with your dollar, does it go towards corporations and causes you claim to oppose or do you make a point to put it in the hands of those you want to support?

Does convenience culture and Amazon get the best of you despite your values of sustainability and supporting small businesses?

Do you milk unemployment from the same government you bitch about, while worrying about inflation, even if you don't actually need it?

Do you stand up for what you believe in, or stay quiet for fear of confrontation?

Do you tend to your own personal development so that you can show up as the best you in this world and serve the purpose you’re here to serve?

If you were violated, how can you give yourself as much love and support as possible to heal from the experience and alchemize it into something powerful? How can you cultivate greater safety in your body and take a stand for yourself?

Transmutation is the work of alchemizing led into gold, pain into medicine, anger into fuel. It’s a necessary component of self-responsibility and sovereignty.

When you own your piece, you reclaim your role as co-creator of your life, and this universe.