AUTHENTICITY is sexy

One of the biggest pitfalls that gets men friend-zoned and destroys attraction in their relationships?

The nice guy problem. Who is he? (the nice girl is a thing too!)

The guy who people-pleases at the expense of himself, wants everyone to like him and doesn't want to rock the boat. He molds himself to what he thinks others want, which consequently makes him inauthentic and therefore untrustworthy.

He's ruled by constant feelings of obligation, which eventually lead to resentment.

He doesn't ask for what he wants and doesn't say no when somethings not in alignment because he feels bad about it or secretly expects the favor to be returned in the future without ever explicitly communicating it.

He gets taken advantage of and is undervalued because he doesn't respect himself in a way that commands respect from others.

He thinks, "if I bring her flowers, buy her dinner, say the right things, validate her even when I don't agree and try to check all her boxes, she'll have sex with me."

Behind these "nice" actions is an ulterior motive, not pure intentions of kindness. There's something he hopes to get by doing it and disguising it with niceness is actually manipulation.

The nice guy doesn't understand he's worthy of love simply for WHO HE IS, not WHAT HE DOES. He constantly needs to prove himself, in ways that aren't authentic.

All of this adds up to more resentment and less of what he wants because resentment is a result of compromising ourselves.

The antidote is not being an asshole. The reason "nice guys finish last" is not because women like assholes (though they may have unconscious patterns calling this in), but because assholes know what they want and go for it. It's not the WAY they go about it that's attractive, it's their confidence in their desires without tailoring themselves for others.

AUTHENTICITY is sexy and it's IMPOSSIBLE for EVERYONE to like you when you're AUTHENTIC.

Yet for those who are in alignment with you, your authenticity is irresistibly attractive and is a filter for those who aren’t aligned with you. Inauthenticity robs you and everyone else of this filter and true resonance can’t be detected.