Being a Victim vs Victim Mentality

There’s a key distinction between being a victim and victim mentality.

If we are victimized, if someone harmed us, acknowledging this and allowing ourselves to feel all the associated emotions is *essential* to our healing.

It is *crucial* not to bypass or deny what happened in an attempt to “transcend” it. Transmutation is very different than spiritually bypassing something and slapping a guise of spiritual positivity over it.

In order to transmute something, we must FEEL the experience fully, listen to the body, allow energy to move and express, and make the unconscious conscious.

We must allow our grief, anger and fear to move freely so they can become catalysts for change and fuel for transformation.

They are not obstacles to our healing but rather necessary ingredients that offer energy to our alchemy.

THEN, from here, we must commit to moving forward, and transmuting this energy into constructive creativity that paves the way for healing and empowerment.

Victim mentality is committing to an identity of victimhood and continuously giving our power to something or someone that happened in the past that we cannot change.

Self-responsibility is reclaiming our power and taking the reins back into our own hands so we can move forward and act on what we *can* change.

We can’t put the cart before the horse on this one. The emotional processing has to come first, and then transmutation can become part of the healing once the experience has been acknowledged and fully felt.

Taking self-responsibility does not mean you could have stopped the situation, or that you need to take responsibility for the perpetrator.

Transmuting the experience doesn’t mean what the other person did was okay, or that the pain from it will go away. It’s not about taking on the responsibility of the perpetrator.

It’s about doing what *we* can to create change and foster healing because the only thing we can change is *ourselves.* We can hold the perpetrator accountable by whatever means are possible, but beyond that, the power we hold lies within.

It’s through this recommitment to self that we set ourselves free.